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Showing posts from August, 2011

I had a little beetle

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I returned a call at work today, and the man  started talking about how he lost his job and is trying to recreate his life with more intention than he did twenty years ago. I was interested, but wondered if he thought I was someone else, like a head hunter, as he described his educational and employment history.  He said he’s also working on mood management.  I wanted to ask what that entailed, but it seemed off topic, even though I had no idea what the topic was yet.

I broke in and asked what I could help him with.  Since I barely have my own job at this point, I didn’t have much to offer in the employment conversation.

“Well, I’ve had to move in with my parents, who are in their 80’s.  Their neighbor, who’s my neighbor too now, has a warehouse full of dermestid beetles.  Should I spell that for you?”

I said yes because I was trying to be positive, what with him being unemployed and moving back in with his parents and stuff, not because I couldn’t sound out the word, or needed to writ…

The Dawning of the Age of Precarious

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Aries (3/21 – 4/19): Diana Nyad, coolest woman evah, says that the goal should be “to live a life with no regrets and no worries about what you are going to do with your time. Fill it with passion. Be your best self.”  Do that, Aries.  Or, you could be like me and play lots of solitaire online and think about all the stuff that needs to get done like contacting the exterminator and the people who fix leaks and stuff.  You decide, Aries.  But swimming to Cuba definitely exposes you to more sharks.

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20):  I saw a headline today, "Google May Finally Bring Chrome to Android."  If you fell asleep ten years ago and just woke up... Taurus, don't become obsolete.  Keep up.  You absolutely cannot afford to fall asleep for 10 years. Drink coffee, breathe into a paper bag -- whatever it takes.

Gemini (5/21 – 6/21): When I talk to young people, I sometimes ask what they want to be when they grow up, and the usual answer is, "I want to review permits."  You&…

Top two reasons

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I’ve keep listening to the news, and even though it’s boring and annoying, I'm compelled like I would be to a slow-speed train wreck.  I’d like to quit, but I keep thinking something might actually happen. So far, no.  They talk almost exclusively about the economy, the republican presidential candidates, the economy, whether Obama’s failed, the scary picture of Michelle Bachmann as it relates to the economy, blah blah blah.   It doesn’t seem much like news, which I think of as a report on a previously unknown event. Lately, it’s more like boring people gossip – all the hearsay and speculation without the juice.  All of this long pre-ramble to get to the point, which is that I’m so cheesily grateful for my little town right now, for tons of reasons, but I’ll name just two.  And first, let me apologize, because I  think the “just plain folks” type stories are clich├ęd and tedious.  So forgive me in advance if this turns out that way.

Reason Number 1. We have a new farm stand that is …

It's about time...

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Aries (3/21 – 4/19):   Did you notice how everything comes in turkey now?  Things that are other species, like bacon, hamburgers, and smoked salmon -- they all come in turkey.  Anyway, horoscopes do not come in turkey, they're as fattening as ever.  But sadly, your week will come in panda.  You'll have a cuddly, adorable, semi-endangered week that climbs trees.  But here's the tip, Aries: things are never black and white. Study the gray.

Taurus (4/20 – 5/20): I've been working hard at laughing more during the work day, and it's not easy because everyone is so annoying, and it's totally them, not me, and most of the people who make me laugh have gone, so I'm left trying to create new people to fill that role, but everyone isn't on board.  Example:

Him:  Yeah, so I think they need to sign a restrictive covenant, blah blah blah.
Me:  Hey, you should swing by my cubicle and be funny occasionally, eh?
Him:  Um... Anyway, about that permit....
Me:  I'm ser…

The Great American Camping Hoax

It never ceases to amaze me that car camping is so popular.  In case you haven’t done it before, here’s what it is:  You pile tons of stuff in your car, drive to a beautiful location, park in a little outdoor cubicle about 30 feet from the next car, and then sleep on the ground right outside of your car.  Hundreds of other people are also doing this at the same place.

But it’s not just about sleeping.  It’s basically playing house without all the stuff you need.  You essentially try to re-create all the things you usually do (except for tracking the debt ceiling crisis), but outside, without the stuff you forgot.  Like in my case, I forgot pants and a bunch of other important things.  Other than that, it’s half-assed business as usual, but everything takes longer. 

For example, at home, if you want coffee, you just make it.  In my case, that means heating water on an electric stove, taking the water temperature with my digital thermometer (incessantly.  Like a diagnosable condition, …